MY FOOTH WURRRTTS

Yeahhh, pretty, much in agony unless i eat all the codeine i can get my grubby little paws on.

Sliding off my cracker.

How do you know when you are crazy? Do you have to do something decidedly bonkers in order to get carted off, tested and then branded as a raving lunatic?

As i am sure you may have guessed. I am starting to suspect i am crazy.

I am losing my mind... and not in a (I'm at a psychedelic rave tripping balls whilst "engaging" with the laser light display - that would be jokes) good way.

I have really weird impulses that i am starting to just act upon. I guess they were always there. I just fought them off better before.

Item 1: I sniff people. I do this a lot. Ive told this to people in a jokey fashion and they re always like: "oh you" as in you're such a harmless kook. But REALLY, think about it. Is it normal to lean in and sniff complete strangers? No. It's weird.
Plus, Lord only knows what I'm breathing in, Can you inhale Hep C through some one's jumper? I don't want Hep C. Hep C's a BITCH!

Item 2: I talk to myself. Now i know i have said in the past that i am going to embrace this, but should I really? The judging eyes from passers by tell me nope. Yes, i do this in public.
Also, i usually am chastising myself about something, and have full blown arguments with myself, so a stander by would only hear one half - proof to them that i am talking to the voices in my head and making me sound truly unhinged.
I also sing to myself but everyone does that, don't they? Yes, they do.

Item 3: Sometimes i rock back and forth like those psych ward Froot Loops do. I caught myself doing it the other day. This is probably the most alarming news of all.

Maybe i am just weird.

Take from this what you will.

INFERNO-NO- NO-NO

I only went and burned my insides out after accidently ingesting half of a scotch bonnet pepper plus seeds over the weekend.

I googled it and this is what i learnt:

Scotch Bonnet is a type of Habanero, considered the hottest pepper in the world. Words such as blistering and incendiary are used to describe the heat.

"Blistering and Incendiary"?! They aint half kiddin'.
Its effectively tantamount to pouring molten lava down your gully and through your digestive tract. Suffice to say i did not enjoy.

I like making lists.

I had a bit too much time on my hands the other day and decided to make a list of things i like and things i do not like.

Likes

Puns: The #1 spot.
Water: I find it useful for a lot of things i do, like existing. I also need it to make tea.
Crunching Snow: It makes a good sound.
The word 'Pamphlet': I like saying it.
Talking to myself: I've decided to stop fighting it.


Dislikes

Soul Patches: I hate them like i hate AIDS.
Pigeons: I dislike pigeons a lot actually.
Tourists: They stand around with maps looking lost and are often also the following...
Slow walkers: They get in my way.
Being prodded.

Who said romance is dead?

Certainly not me.


The message above was found in my inbox along with the following, a letter from my soulmate..."Giggah".

You are extremely exquisite like the sun reflecting its rays upon the spring water pouring down the waterfall in The Mediterranean. Moreover, you remind me of our parternal heavenly father who has provided mankind all the earthly provisions to feel content. Furthermore, you are similar to an exquisite red rose being caressed by the sun and fresh breeze on a mid summers day in the countryside. In addition, you should be cherished and adored more than gold, silver, diamonds, crystals, pearls, rubees, energy and any other items composed on the planet earth. Giggah your admirer and sincere friend xxxx
P.S.
God is love. Are you still single? Can we mingle? I want to consume you like a pringle. Are you bilingual? Can I treat you to lunch and then the cinema? Am I boyfriend material? Do you like or dislike Giggah? Can we date? Can I possess your mobile number? Please don't hesitate to contact me on [no deleted]. Peace and tranquillity

Here he is!!



I especially like how "Giggah" refers to himself in third person. Also, his rhyming skills. It shows me he has poetic flair and an artistic soul. This is important to me.

I blog now.

Yes, i have decided to extend my means of communicating with everyone from the standard mediums (spoken word, dance and MIND) with this little blog spot.